Not Alone

After checking on Mom for three days in a row, I’m resting a little bit at home today. Trixie and I took a nap, and thanks to a prayer by two sweet ladies at church this morning, I am feeling better. Not a hundred percent, but better... 

The thing is this...when Dad passed away in 2010, I was kinda hoping my life would get a little more laid back. It didn’t. Within the next seven years, Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, my daughter lost a baby, Greg was diagnosed and eventually died with cancer after a 13 month battle, and now Mom seems to be declining at a rather alarming rate. It seems to be too much for a human to deal with, quite frankly...

i am only one woman. I can only do so much. I can only stand so much tragedy...that is why it is imperative that I rely on Jesus. I cannot do this alone and I have to remind myself that I AM NOT ALONE! Because that feeling of being alone swallows me at times like this...so I have had to ask myself, “Are my feelings valid?” Yes, they are. To invalidate my feelings would be denial. I firmly believe that anyone in this same set of circumstances would feel exactly the same way I do, or else they’d lie about it. To extrapolate that thought further, “Are my feelings of being alone true?” The answer to that would be “No.” I have a lot of friends. I don’t have a lot of family, but the ones I do have are pretty solid. And more importantly, I have Jesus. That sounds trite, even as I type those words. I don’t mean for it to sound shallow or simplistic. But truth at its basest form is sometimes very simple. If I am a Christian, then I have to believe what the Bible says about Jesus. And the Bible says “He never leaves or forsakes us.” So, I guess even though I may be feeling physically and emotionally needy, there is really only One place I can run.

As I sit here writing these words, working through the feelings of frustration, anger, helplessness, and isolation, I know that I am going to be all right. My God is with me. And something more important than Him being on my side is that...I am on His...God bless! 

 

 

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Mom and Donna...one of my favorite friends and one of Mom’s champions! 

#alzheimersdisease

#iamnotastatistic

#heneverleavesus